My record is now 7. Set the week of April 15, 2013. The truth is only 6 of these appointments were for me. One was actually for Diana, but, I canceled my physical therapy appointment on Friday so I could be with her when she had the needle aspiration on her kidney. So, even though, these were not technically all my appointments, they would have been had I not canceled one of mine for hers.......Such a good girlfriend, eh? Not really. Diana has probably escorted me to more doctor’s appointments these past few months, than she has ever had for herself in her whole life......maybe that’s an exaggeration, but maybe not.....
I really did not want to go to the orthopedic appointment on Thursday. After all, the physician’s assistant told me a month ago now that I COULD cancel it if everything was going well. And mostly, everything was going well, except for that damn pain above my knee when I walked (hobble is probably a better verb, but I am practicing a more positive attitude about my healing). Diana told me I should keep the orthopedic appointment. But I didn’t want to listen to her. I was hoping that Linn, my PT would concur with ME that I needn’t go on Thursday. I envisioned him telling me, “a waste of time, no worries,” but he didn’t . HE concurred with Diana and when I got that orthopedic confirmation call, (bad) luck would have it-I was home and I answered. Cornered, I confirmed for Thursday at 3pm.
The truth is that I am getting a bit worn down from all of this. It’s been a year and a half of dealing with chronic pain, discomfort, information, opinions, and DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS. The older I’ve gotten, the less I like sitting in these usually stuffy, noisy and uncomfortable rooms........only then to be called to sit in yet another small and even more uncomfortable space with less air and windows that don’t open as you wait and wait and wait some more.
So there I was complaining that I had to suffer through 7 medical appointments that week. I was feeling grumpy, irritable, tired and annoyed that instead of going to the gym, doing yoga or taking a walk, I, instead had to park my ass for who knew how long in yet another doctor’s office......
My ears perked up as My “New Age, Enlightened Voice”, whispered ever so softly to me to be grateful that I have the medical insurance to cover my health issues, with that subtle (or maybe not so subtle) implication that “not everyone does, you know.” She disapproves of my crabby, complaining self. I was starting to feel bad about myself......I have so much, how can I complain??????
And then my Wise Ass, NYC Crone dropped in for a visit. In her less than subtle tone and dramatic flare, she belts out ,
You can have an attitude of gratitude while you kvetch, whine & complain
You can have an attitude of gratitude while you kvetch, whine & complain
Have a party of pity if you feel shitty, kvetch, whine complain
Enjoy your attitude of gratitude while you kvetch, whine & complain”
Thank you my Wise Ass NYC Crone. Thank you for reminding me that just because I’m complaining does not preclude my deep appreciation for what I have. Thank you for reminding me that complaining and appreciation are not mutually exclusive. Both are valid experiences and can exist side by side in a person at the same time.
Now, how do I get that damn verse out of my head?
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